Thursday, May 28, 2009

Old Man Logan # 72


SPOILER ALERT!

I just read the long awaited Wolverine # 72 and I think this is the best books out there right now hands down. It's a hell of a lot of fun and it doesn't apologize for it's lack of sophistication with complex dialog and cliche action scenes. This book is gory, gritty and downright upsetting at times and that is what makes it so excellent.

The story is pretty simple, aren't most good stories simple?, Logan is trying to get back to his family with a suitcase full of money. Hawkeye is dead and Logan is going to finish the job on his own. It's pretty simple, but the Red Skull has other plans for Logan. After the fall of Super Heroes, Red Skull decided to take over Babylon, which is Washington D.C. He's a crazy fucker so he's takin' it upon himself to collect the outfits and gear of the fallen supers from the past.

Logan is captured by his goons and brought before the Skull. He is dressed in Captain America's costume as Logan awakes from his regenerative sleep. Wolverine wakes up on the wrong side of the body bag he's been brought in and he starts a fight with the Red Skull. As we all know Logan won't use his claws anymore because of what happened back at X-Men HQ when the fall happened, so he fights the Red Skull sans his adamantium razor blades. The fight starts out bad for Wolverine but as he's fighting he notices Captain America's unbreakable shield on the wall. He grabs this and chops Red Skulls head off with it. Thus endeth the reign of the period soaked skull head dude. (I think that's his lesser known latin name).

Logan is now alone with a suitcase full of cash he can bring back to his family in California. The Banners want their money and Logan now has it. The Red Skulls collection turns out to have another surprise, Iron Man's armor. Logan suits up and begins to fly back across the country dressed as the dapper Tony Stark. The suits low on fuel and Logan, being the intelligent guy he is, runs the fucker beyond E and crash lands short of his home in California.

He walks for 36 straight hours and finally reaches his home to find the Banners have killed his family. Apparently those inbred assholes got bored and killed his wife and kids. Logan is noticeably upset and he decides it's time to drop the Logan bit and retake the badass name of Wolverine. It's time to trim some fat off those inbred sons a bitches and he's just the man to do it.

I can't wait for the Wolverine - Old Man Logan Giant Sized issue. However knowing McNiven we're going to be waiting for eight months to see this issue, but I know it's going to be worth it. Stay tuned for the best book of 2009.

Michael

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Chronic Review: I Kill Giants


I Kill Giants - Image Comics

Collects: I Kill Giants # 1-7
Scripts: Joe Kelly
Pencils:
JM Ken Niimura


I haven't written in a while, but this book fairly demanded a response of some kind, and it will damn well get it.

I don't want to say much in the way of plot. Partly because this isn't a plot-centric book, and so it's slightly irrelevant. Partly because I think the magic works better if you go in with no preconceptions and just let it rip. So you'll have something to hang your brain on, the story revolves around a troubled young girl named Barbara Thorson. She kills giants. There you go.

There are a few things I guess I can safely expound about I Kill Giants. I picked up issue # 1 when it first hit the stands eons ago, and couldn't explain to myself rationally why I did that. Certain things carry a scent of relevance to them, and this was just one of those things I felt from across the room. So I bought it on a lark.

We talked about Giants # 1 on the show, and both of us reviewed the book tentatively and positively. It's hard to be sure what you're reading after the first installment, which in retrospect is part of the story's charm. Neither Quincy nor I bought any more floppies, but I earmarked it in my brain, knowing that I would order the trade when available.

It was the scent of relevance. What I mean by that is...some things are strange and unwieldy and leave the impression that the author is desperate for you to see the full extent of their genius. That sucks.

Other things are strange and unwieldy, but they give no hint of pretense. The entire thing smells as though the creator is almost in the possession of some force that desperately matters to them. I Kill Giants is one of those things.

Like I said earlier, I don't even want to talk about themes and over-arching concerns, because I think the story works best with a really clean palate. Let me tell you this, though - Ryan the Robot was near tears not once but twice during his reading. And I'm the guy who watched George Kirk plot a suicide course while listening to his wife give birth to his new baby boy without so much as a blip during the new Star Trek movie.

I Kill Giants matters a great deal to Joe Kelly, and if you have a pulse it will matter to you as well. Go get it.

- Ryan

Issue # 94 The Man Butter Show

We just haven't had enough of that most famous of nectars, so we had to record another show on the DNA you clean up with a T-Shirt. So grab your black light and check for stains on your roommates sheets, it's time for another sophisticated and vulgar episode of Chronic Insomnia.

Check out our new sponsor, Jizaflow. It's a miracle they came on board at the right moment, especially since we had our mouths open at that very moment. So we took the shot right in the eye and welcomed them to our show.

Also check out Ryan's new song called, "Never gonna spit you out". It's the perfect song to play to your shy and humble lover. Let's spread the man butter around and get down to the salty brine and talk about comic books.

The Chronic Crew

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Jizm Files


How gross can we get this week? Well pretty gross actually. We're back to our sophisticated and stylish ways. It's time for us to prove once again that we are the "podcast your momma warned you about." Don't let the title fool you, it is that disgusting. Mike asks Ryan the hard hitting question and we get an honest response.

What do Bert and Ernie do when they aren't entertaining the youth of America? We also got our hands on a rare episode of the original Star Trek series when Roddenberry tried his hand at a Marvel cross-over. It didn't work out so well for all involved.

We've eaten all the pineapple we can to cut down on the acidity, but we still come off as a little fishy tasting. So hold the back of your own head and get ready for a giant load of a show.

We love the all of you.

We want to wish our friends at "Where Monsters Dwell" a safe return to the radio in Canada. Good luck!

The Chronic Crew

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Issue # 93 The Jizm Files

How gross can we get this week? Well pretty gross actually. We're back to our sophisticated and stylish ways. It's time for us to prove once again that we are the "podcast your momma warned you about." Don't let the title fool you, it is that disgusting. Mike asks Ryan the hard hitting question and we get an honest response.

What do Bert and Ernie do when they aren't entertaining the youth of America? We also got our hands on a rare episode of the original Star Trek series when Roddenberry tried his hand in a Marvel cross-over. It didn't work out so well for all involved.

We've eaten all the pineapple we can to cut down on the acidity, but we still come off as a little fishy tasting. So hold the back of your own head and get ready for a giant load of a show.

We love the all of you.

We want to wish our friends at "Where Monsters Dwell" a safe return to the radio in Canada. Good luck!

The Chronic Crew

Sorry for the delay in posting this week, but we are having a very hard time with MyPodcast.com right now. This is only a temporary fix and should only have to be up like for a little while. Please bare with us as we transition through this situation.

Michael

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Forum

We currently have a forum that you can join if you want to become part of the Chronic community. Our forum is based on writing, but there is a section just for our fans. Please feel free to join the community and chime in on whatever might be on the site.

Thanks for the support and we hope to see you on the Forum. We love the all of you.

Click on the picture above to go and join our community. Help us create a great place to vent and talk about all things comics and games.

Michael

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Star Trek Energizes My Loins

I just went to see Star Trek and it was AMAZING. I am not sure what that fat fuck Roger Ebert was talking about, but it was fucking great. So what if they didn't transport down to the drilling platform, I thought it was pretty obvious they couldn't and also wouldn't want to since they would surely have been detected. Roger Ebert is a failing movie critic with one foot in the stroke grave and needs this type of attention to help boost his ego.

Check out my fat bloated ass standing underneath the sign that says I am going to see the Star Trek movie at 9:55pm. Am I a total Geek, well yes I am and thank you very much for noticing. I have been laid in the past week and I am a total Star Trek Geek. So what if I was the only non-virgin in the theater, that doesn't make it bad movie. On the contrary, it blew my fucking mind.

It's not the best movie ever made, I leave that distinguishing honor to "Waterworld", it isn't even the best Sci-Fi movie ever made, I leave that gold medal to "Puma Man", but it is far and away the BEST Star Trek movie ever made.

Every character is done in a way that honors what we already know about them and yet creates new and wonderful ideas for futures movies. Simon Pegg as Scotty was fucking brilliant and believe it or not, Zachary Quinto does a fantastic job as Spock. Chris Pine as Kirk was my favorite character though, he really pulled it off.

The movie is full of intense action, humor (yes I said humor and in a very tactful way) and GREAT special effects. Oh yeah the sound was amazing and I even felt a lump in my throat when Kirks father dies (oh shit was that a spoiler?). I won't give away anything else since I hate spoilers myself.

Ignore that fat fuck Roger Ebert and go and see this incredible action adventure and if you're a Star Trek fan run to see this movie.

I give this movie a solid A. As one half of the Chronic Crew I give it my seal of approval. Check out this weeks show, it's going to be our Star Trek special show, I'm sure we'll get into the movie in more detail.

Sorry it's late, I sound like a sixth grader, which is just a tad bit worse than my normal eighth grade mentality. Mike sleep now...

Michael

Tuesday, May 5, 2009